Category Archives: doing things wrong

Chocolate-Shaming Now a Thing


by Elise Merimose

It appears that chocolate-shaming—shaming chocolate lovers for their love of chocolate—is now a thing. And you better get used to it, cos it’s here, and it’s ugly. Last week at an important midtown fashion show, model Rhada Porvacjek was ambushed and attacked while snacking on chocolate M&Ms post-runway. The statuesque beauty was assaulted by a roving pack of chocolate shamers and doused head to toe with a Gatorade-cooler full of Hershey’s syrup. “Feel good?” one of the assailants sarcastically asked as she ran away.

The next day actress Jennifer Lawrence took to social media to shame the shamers:


Lawrence’s post was retweeted over 532,000 times.

But that was just one of the higher profile instances. Sadly, chocolate shaming has become ubiquitous throughout social media, particularly Facebook:

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The shaming has become so prevalent that it’s reached the desk of no less than Taylor Swift. In response, the pop princess dropped by the home of the woman who baked the controversial cake, brought along celebrity baker Duff Goldman, and gave an impromptu concert in which she changed the lyrics to one of her most popular tunes and serenaded neighbors and kinfolk with the song “Cake It Off.”

You’ve Been Eating Chocolate Wrong Your Whole Life


by Marisa Raney

If you’re like most people, the way you’ve enjoyed chocolate is the common experience of gently shoving it (whether it be in bar, stick, or puck form) up your nostrils, then agonizingly waiting for it to make its way through the nasal cavity, until it finally drops down into the trachea. But what if we told you that there is a far easier way to enjoy your decadent delights? And what if we told you it was recently discovered by a Cambodian minister? First, resist the natural urge to shove the chocolate up your nose. Next, slowly lower the chocolate until it’s even with your mouth. If the chocolate grazes your chin you’ve gone too far. With the chocolate level with your lips, stick it in your mouth and chew it with your teeth in an up-and-down fashion. When finished, swallow—it’s as simple as that!
So next time you’re at a party or an out-of-control baptism and someone offers you chocolate, impress them with your new knowledge. We trust you’ll never eat chocolate the same way again.